A few years ago I had an “ah-ha” moment in the shower.
It happened before the head pain ruled my life, back when my biggest challenges were figuring out how to lose weight and get back into writing, which I had all-but given up. On this particular day I appraised myself in the bathroom mirror and was, as always, discouraged by the homely, overweight woman looking back at me. In my mind I was happy, full of life, passionate, healthy, thin. In reality I was none of those things.
So, I climbed in the shower and was thinking about how to close the gap between the person I saw in the mirror and the one I wanted to be when I was struck by a simple, yet profound realization. A voice in my head said: you’ll never become her until you become her.
In other words, I’d never become a healthy, vibrant, creative person as long as I didn’t live like a healthy, vibrant, creative person.
Okay, but how does a healthy, vibrant, creative person live? I didn’t know, so I started soaking up every book, article, and documentary I could get my hands on in hopes of finding the answer. Meanwhile, my health continued to deteriorate from my as-yet undiagnosed Chiari Malformation. At some point I realized that becoming her was going to take more than a new workout routine and a plant-based diet. I needed to heal my entire life from the inside-out.
My Inner Culture is the chronicle of the journey that started with a shower epiphany and now stretches out in front of me like a long road with no end. I don’t know exactly where it leads, but I’ve been on it for so long that there is no going back.
And quite frankly, there’s nothing to go back to.