Coronavirus, A Progression
Early March 2020
Well that’s interesting. Reminds me of the movie Contagion. I’m sure it’s no big deal.
What’s the matter with these paranoid assholes buying all the toilet paper? They’re creating a much bigger problem.
Hubs bought extra toilet paper today…you know, because the stockpiling has finally forced our hand.
Had cough for two weeks. Today I coughed so hard I puked up first breakfast.
Taking cough syrup, also pulled nebulizer out of moth balls and used albuterol that expired in 2017. Sleeping a lot. Doc put me on self-quarantine. Is it COVID?
Mid March 2020
Missing my last five days of work. I guess I’m officially among the unemployed? Hard to believe even though I knew it was coming before baby. Chiari pain from cough at max so nothing feels good right now.
Hubs started working from home; he took over my meditation space and bought enough monitors for a 180-degree view of engineering.
I tell hubs I suspect working from home will be hard for him because he’s such a social person. He disagrees—there’s always facetime.
Friend shows up unexpectedly after picking their kid up from daycare. I tell them I’m on self-quarantine; they aren’t worried. Being pregnant and high risk, I’m VERY worried, so I sit outside with the dog. Another friend arrives. I hear them talking about how serious the virus is. I wish I could tell them I’m scared because it IS serious, so they shouldn’t be here. I really have to pee, but hold it until everyone leaves. Then I deplete our only bottle of Lysol cleaning every surface in our house. Hubs has no idea why I’m upset. I don’t know how to keep myself and a baby safe from COVID-19. I haven’t cried this hard in a long time.
Hubs awakens early and loads the dishwasher, creating massive racket at 6AM. I lie awake fuming over the loss of sleep but grateful that he did the chore I forgot about yesterday.
Grays sprout from my head like ugly weeds in an overgrown garden. I shouldn’t have waited until the last minute for my bi-annual professional hair coloring treatment. Eyebrow overgrowth is taking over my face. Prenatal massage gift certificate will have to wait. Everything is closed.
Another friend stops over to drink beer in the garage with my hubs. I am OK with this since they don’t come in the house. He even pees outside.
We learn that my hubby and doctor may both be banned from the birthing room. Panic ensues; I only stayed with this crummy, outdated hospital with their wonky birthing suites and no laboring tubs because I liked my doctor and she intended to deliver my child. What’s worse, I can’t do this without my husband. Should I find a new hospital? Do I even have time?
Thinking about installing an airlock entry. Might not give husband the code to get back in.
Hubs awakens early, makes fresh celery and ginger juice in the juicer. I lie awake fuming over the loss of sleep, but grateful that I will have fresh juice when I get up. I plead with hubs to save the loud stuff until after 7. He asks if there’s anything he can do right. I’m not sure anymore. When did I become such a jerk?
Late March 2020
Why is there such polarity? I didn’t make the rules about staying home. I am shocked by the people who aren’t taking precautions. I’ve had no choice but to take it seriously. I know I’m not the only one, so why do I feel so alone?
I cry in the shower because it’s hard to do the “right thing” to keep myself and my unborn kiddo safe when I’m not always sure what that is.
Hubs and I make up from another argument. He admits it’s been hard being stuck at home (I told you so flies off my tongue). I admit I’m afraid because we are about to bring a child into this crazy COVID world and that makes an already stressful time that much more terrifying. We agree to go easier on each other.
Starting to feel less crazy as support for isolation grows. Maybe by the time my kiddo is a few months old we’ll be able to introduce him to the world.
April 2020
Still coughing. I save the single-use masks from my weekly doctor visits for trips to the grocery store. The nurses look at me like a leper. I suppose I would too.
Test negative for COVID-19. Giant sigh of relief.
Hubs and I are doing better than ever. This is the happiest I’ve felt in a long time. Is it love, or hormones?
Wide awake at 4AM. Watch some TV, then quietly grab a plate for breakfast at 5:25. Hubs teases that I should wait until at least 5:30 before clamoring around the cupboards. I smile and promise to do better next time. Then I go back to bed.